I can't deal with any of this shit anymore.

I can't deal with the fact that I had a place to live for next year that was unceremoniously taken away because the landlord's mother wanted to lease it to her friend.

I can't deal with the fact that the landlord waited 2 weeks to tell me this.

I can't deal with the fact that I don't think I am going to be able to go visit again to find a place to live, and have to trust that wherever I can find online will be A) acceptable, and B) safe.

I can't deal with the fact that I called my mother because I needed someone to listen while I freaked out, someone to calm me down, because the people I normally go to for such things aren't available, and she just went off on me.

I can't deal with my mother telling me that this is entirely my fault because I go about everything I do wrong and don't know how to make decisions.

I can't deal with being lectured about 'spending my graduation gift this year' on frivolous things, especially considering I didn't GET a graduation gift.

I can't deal with the fact that I'm supposed to be moving in a week, have no place to live, absolutely no one to vent about this to, and feel tiny and utterly alone.

I just can't.

Necessities

You know that feeling when you temporarily lose contact with someone you are used to talking to every day?  No?  Let me try to explain.

It’s not constant.  It’s not nagging or painful or distracting.  It doesn’t become a permanent disruption in your life.  It doesn’t wear you down or stress you out or remain in the front of your mind.

Coming

She knew it was coming.  They had talked about it enough - in vague conversations at first, where she had gathered a handful of likes and dislikes and devised a few ideas.  The more they talked about it, the more the entire thing felt inevitable.  So as the talk lost the vague and became more concrete, conversations became propositions.  She had said no when she had thought yes.  But the time for that was over.  So lying there on his bed, his parents asleep on the floor below, she knew it was coming.

Busy Mays and Mondays always get me down.

The entire month of May is a blur to me. I started the month knowing that I would be going from one trip to another - an experience I expect to never have again - and I had accepted the stress of packing for multiple trips simultaneously.  I did not anticipate the rest of the month to be just as busy.

A brief recap:
4/30-5/2 - Finals in KC
5/2-5/5 - St. Louis to babysit while my parents went on vacation - 210 miles
5/5-5/12 - Cancun - 1231 miles
5/12 - Cancun to St. Louis to Kansas City, arrived at 9:30pm - 1441 miles
5/13-5/19 - Mississippi, left KC at 6am - 1462 miles round trip
5/24-5/28 - OP, housesitting for my Aunt and Uncle - negligible miles, compared to the rest of the month
5/30-6/2 - KC to Chicago to Milwaukee to Chicago to KC - 1200 miles

That's approximately 5500 miles, for those who don't want to find their TI-83+s, discounting any random driving I did in any of the above cities.  Now that may not be a lot to some, but I've done more traveling in the last month than in the entire 2 years before.  I missed my little apartment, my bed, my kitchen.

I'm having trouble keeping straight who I was in each city with.  It legitimately takes me a few seconds to reason it out.  I've several times woken up unsure of which city or whose home I was in.  Is it possible to have jet lag when a portion of the trip wasn't on a plane?  Because that's how I feel.