She Hoped It Was

It's amazing what one can be inspired to write while sitting in a never-ending lecture.

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The lecturer droned on, as he had for nearly two hours, but she couldn’t focus anymore. She had reached the point where all she heard was a buzzing sound, no syllables or words were discernable, and she certainly couldn’t translate what she heard into coherent concepts. Apparently she was not the first to zone out. Looking around, about one third of the class had their heads on their desks. Several were surfing the internet, and those whose pens were moving seemed to be doodling more than taking notes.

At times like these, she wondered why lecturers kept talking. Surely they knew no one was paying attention. Did they talk to hear their voices? Just in the hopes that something would spark the audience’s interest again? If one third of the class is asleep, just call it a day.

She was fully aware that if she analyzed the lecture material half as much as she analyzed the lecturer, she might actually get something out of class. As she rested her head on her forearms, she realized she simply didn’t care.

The combination of too much studying and sleep deprivation brought out the best of her apathy. She was running on caffeine and saltines, and it was barely enough to keep her awake. Not near enough to keep her focused or alert. Someday, she hoped, she’d get to sleep more than five hours consecutively. At this point, more sleep was not an option. Study, class, study, class, short nap. Rinse and repeat. Sleep and eating tended to be the first things to go when tests got near. And there was always a test or three looming.

She begrudgingly raised her head from her desk, flipped through the seven slides she had missed, and forced herself to focus again. Thirty-six more minutes of this lecture. Four more years of this school. At this point she kept going only under the hopes that it would be worth it in the end. She hoped it was.

10.13.09 4:22pm