Things I Learned in Cancun

• There is nothing more relaxing than lying on a white sand beach, in a bikini, reading a book, beer in hand.
• Kayaking provides a sense of both accomplishment and power.
• Two people can share a double bed comfortably without touching.
• Coming across a giant sting ray or sea turtle while swimming is simultaneously terrifying and exhilirating.
• The Caribbean Sea tastes saltier than licking a spoonful of salt.
• You don't realize how much you use/drink tap water until you can't.
• There is no way to sit on a Mexican toilet without feeling like you're going to fall in.
• You will miss at least one part of your body every time you sunscreen.
• Cancun has lizards like the Midwest has squirrels.  Short ones, long ones, big ones, fat ones, skinny ones, ones that scutter away when you're near, and ones that glare at you because you're in their place.
• All-inclusive is the way to go.  The buffets.  The specialty restaurants. The unlimited alcohol.  Amazing.
• Mexican humidity could kick MO humidity's ass.
• A pool isn't really a pool unless it has more square footage than multiple sports fields combined.
• Built-in pool lounge chairs in the water are heavenly, as long as you don't fall asleep and burn like hell.
• There is always someone who looks better in their swimsuit…and always someone who looks worse.
• Saying "I don't speak Spanish, I speak English" in Spanish REALLY confuses the native Mexicans.
• Diet Coke is Coca-Cola Light in Mexico, and it tastes totally different.
• Sometimes, the fancy desserts should be seen and not tasted.
• Having unhelpful labels at the buffets has led to a lot of quite unintentional runins with new foods, ranging from "I wish I knew what I ate so I could get more!" to "Oh God I do not want to know what I just ate because I might cry".
• It doesn't matter where you hang your swimsuit to dry…it ain't gonna happen.
• Floating in the sea provides a fabulous moment of sensory deprivation, until you see or feel or hear something in the water. Cue flailing.
• One resort is the size of a large town, and staffs about as many people.
• You know there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people on vacation, and yet it feels like you never see any of them.
• Beach weddings are entirely overdone.
• Sunscreen should never cost $35.
• The concept of bartering stresses me out.
• There are some snores that are unable to be covered with the normal means - music, audiobooks, white noise, pillows, blankets.
• A day spent doing nothing but lounging on the beach and reading is a day well-spent, and it is also completely exhausting.
• Spending too many days in sandals/on beaches causes immense soreness in one's feet, especially if said person has high arches.
• The amount of ethnocentricity and elitism present in Americans is absolutely infuriating.
• More people should learn foreign languages - or at least how to comprehend basic accents.
• Seaweed isn't weedy at all.  It is in fact quite poky, and it feels disgusting when it touches you.
• Not all fish swim away when you come near.  Some glare and hold their ground.
• Snorkeling is a wee bit overwhelming, especially when you get trapped in a coral forest.  Yup.
• Avoiding reality as much as possible - no working phone and limited internet - provided a form of freedom I simultaneously loathed and adored.