Just another day.

Let me be clear. I don't like Valentine's Day. I don't like it when I'm single. I didn't like it when I have been in relationships. It's stupid. If you love me, show it. If you want to buy me something to show you care, or make a sweet gesture, do it when I cross your mind. Not because stores are selling roses or cards. Not because commercials are constantly suggesting present ideas. Just because. Having an entire day set aside for me to anxiously await a material representation of your feelings, and vice versa? No thanks. Gifts aren't gifts if they're expected. So skip the flowers and chocolate. A night curled up on the couch together is better anyway.

This isn't a new stance - some defense mechanism to protect myself from exaggerated and unfulfilled hopes. I've felt like this for years, both single and with someone. So why, when my feelings on the subject are clear and unwavering, does this day still make me feel like crap? Dammit.

It's just another day.

2.14.11 10:16am




Parte due.

You told me to just be me. But me...isn't the nice, sweet person who I'd like her to be. Ask someone who has known me for years. I'm sarcastic, cynical, and brutally honest. I will tell you what I think, if I think you need to hear it. I can be sweet and supportive, yes, but if I think you need to hear something less fluffy, that's what you get.

I need to stop trying to be overly nice. It just doesn't end well. Today is a perfect example. And I need to stop sugar-coating things. So here's how I really feel.

Fuck today. It's hard to remain apathetic about a pseudo-holiday that is being perpetually shoved down my throat. No, I don't believe in vday. I have never seen the point. But, it's hard to ignore it when it's everywhere. So yes, it's just another day. A Monday in February. But it's not like you can be oblivious to it. Teachers, acquaintances all saying "Happy Valentine's Day!" to each other. Ugh.

As a friend so succinctly put it, people get too stressed about Valentine's Day, compared to the other Hallmark holidays. What about Secretary's Day? Not having a secretary on Secretary's Day should be stressful too, if you're going to freak about vday. The whole thing is just dumb. If I could erase its existence from my mind entirely, I would. Sadly, non è possibile. Non voglio avere un valentino. Voglio bene i miei amici. Loro sono abbastanza bene per me. Mi piacciono mia vita, miei amici, mia famiglia. Vaffanculo, San Valentino. Puoi mantenere i tuoi fiori. Moriranno in un paio di giorni comunque.

2.14.11 4:10pm